The Remaking of a Professor

Professor Bobbins yawns and stretches out on his super-comfy sofa.  How delicious is retirement!!  He is sitting by the window, soaking in the sun, enjoying his newspaper and prospect of a pleasant spring day. He is recently retired after 40 years of research and teaching.

The phone rings. He looks up irritably. It’s Kay, his daughter.

“Hi Dad. I know this is sudden but I really need your help. I have tested positive for the virus and am in insolation.  The Health Department has asked that Sarah be moved to another household immediately. Please can you help? I’m afraid I can’t trust her to anyone else”.

The professor is astonished. “Kay, can you imagine me taking care of a six year old? I couldn’t do it when you were a kid, much to the chagrin of your mother”.

“Dad, Sarah is now quite grown up. No toilet issues either. She can pretty confidently manage her own life. Please help, please”. She begs.

He sees no way out. He reluctantly agrees and soon finds himself at the front door of his daughter’s house looking down at six year old perky Sarah, her bags packed and ready to go. He has not been a great grandpa. Consumed with his research and teaching, especially after his wife’s passing, he has had very little time for either socializing or even getting to know his grandchild better.

“Hi granpa.  Mum says you need me to look after you while she is ill. I loved the idea”. He gulped.

“Did you say you’re looking after me”? he asks, looking accusingly at Kay in the doorway, appropriately social distanced. She shrugs.

“Yes. I can make pancakes. I can also make your bed. I help mum to make hers. And I can take you for walks”.

He baulks. This is not a promising start to the next two weeks.

“Okay Kay, he sighs. You take care of yourself. Come on Sarah. Let’s get you to my house and we’ll see how you can take care of me”. He volunteers a brave smile and shepherds her to his car.

……..

They sit in opposite corners of the room. It’s a lovely day again; the sun shines through the large bay window, the trees outside sway in the wind, inviting one out to encounter the fresh air, the garden, the singing birds.  The professor in his corner enjoys his newspaper. Sarah is buried in her ipad.

Its day two, and mercifully, Sarah is indeed turning out to be rather easily managed. A bit bossy from time to time though, reminding him to brush his teeth after dinner, restricting his desert to just one serving, and checking If he has made his bed in the morning.  

Sarah looks up from her ipad.

“This is R-E-A-L-L-Y boring, granpa”, she declares.

He lowers his newspaper. “I think it’s wonderful. Of course I’d rather have the peaceful day to myself”.

“That’s not very kind, is it granpa?”

He feels a little guilty. “Let’s put it like this, Sarah. I’m rather old to play with a six year old. And you are rather young to spend your days with an old man like me”.

“I have an idea, granpa. What if we do one exciting thing together each day?  Just one. Wil you do that for me?”

It is a challenge but also a way out. He is indeed at a loss how he is going to occupy a six year old for the next 13 days.

“Okay. Done. One day you decide what we do, and the next I will. Agreed”?

“Yes let’s agree. Pinky promise”? she demands, holding out her little finger. This was something novel. He was learning.

“Okay, pinky promise”. He holds out his little finger and she hooks it with hers.

“My turn first”, she says.

He waits with bated breath.

“We are going to put on shorts and go to the park to play cops and robbers”.

“What! Not me, not on your life”.

“But you just pinky promised. A pinky promise CANNOT be broken”.

And so it was that retired Professor Bobbins was seen chasing his grandchild around the park, in shorts, never quite catching up but making a sterling job of it. Old Ms Mabel Wallin couldn’t believe her eyes.

She stops in shock, midway in her daily walk with her friend Joan around the park. “What’s with the old man”, she asks Joan. “He is finally going bonkers, chasing little girls around. Inevitable”, she sniffs, “given how he has locked himself alone in that house after Karen passed away”.

Joan explains about the six year old needing to stay with her grandpa.

“Well then Professor”, she calls out to him. “You better shake a leg and your fat arse. You’re not getting anywhere as far as I can see”.

The professor is huffing and puffing, so takes the opportunity to stop and catch a breath. He glares at her. “Thank you Mabel. I will ask for your expert advice when I need it”.

It is soon news around the community during these lockdown days, and his mates and neighbours are having a chuckle. But for the professor, it’s turning out pretty well. After the two to three hours work out in the park he is exhausted. But his body does feel like it has broken out of a prison.

The next day is his turn.

“Okay, Sarah. My turn. You’re going to take me through all your lessons on your ipad”.

“Deal, grandpa. But first let me show you my favourite little game on the ipad”.

And that’s how it began. A surprisingly pleasant day of learning to play Smurfs’ Village, Angry Birds and Candy Crush.

“This is actually fun”, says the professor. He is truly enjoying both the game and the triumphant squeals of the little girl next to him when she wins a game.

Later that day there is a knock on the door. It is young Mrs Hancock from next door with her little six year old Cassie.

“Do you mind, Professor. Cassie saw you two playing in the park and wanted to join in the fun. You know with the virus out and about, she is at home all day. It’s a wonderful opportunity for her to make her new friend”.

This does not augur well. He certainly isn’t prepared to be managing a childcare centre. But before he can say anything, Cassie is flat out on the floor with Sarah, excitedly discussing some new ipad game.

As he thinks about it, it’s probably not a bad idea to have other little kids keep Sarah company. He still dreads how he is going to keep her occupied for the remaining 12 days.

And so it transpires that each day a menagerie of little kids congregate at the Professor’s house for playtime.

…….

Two days later, there is an authoritative knock on the door.

“Police here, open up”.  The professor is a bit shocked.

Police? Whatever could be the matter?

“We hear you are running an unauthorised childcare centre primarily for little girls. You have no license or police clearance to play with little kids. We need to ask you a few questions”.

The Professor tries hard to explain. It is finally agreed that they will allow the congregating of little kids in his house on condition that one of the mothers or female relatives of the kids attends.

……

So it comes to pass that the professor now has not just one kid but loads of them in the house each day, as well as a female pottering around. They settle things that do not need to be settled, rearrange furniture, crockery and utensils which need no rearranging, chat incessantly, persist with relentless questioning and in general keep him away from his beloved newspapers and books for most of the day.

Jesus! What has he got himself into? Oh, when will Day 14 arrive?

But then enters Veronica with her little niece. She is a slight, middle aged, attractive lady, a widow, whom he has seen in the community off and on. He finds her engaging and enjoys when she visits.

One morning Sarah pipes up at a breakfast of Sarah-made pancakes – “you really do like Veronica, right?”

He is taken aback, not just at the insight of this little girl, but the impertinence.

“Come on granpa. All the girls know it and we think it’s a great idea for you and Veronica to become boyfriend and girlfriend”.

He is aghast. He has to put out this fire before it goes out of control.

“Hold it, Sarah. Don’t you dare say such things. I have no idea where you got this idea from. Can we just forget about this. I do not want to talk about it again”.

Unfortunately, little kids will be little kids; irrepressible.

The next time Veronica visits Sarah duly declares – “Veronica, we all think you and granpa should be boyfriend and girlfriend”.

Veronica blushes. The professor looks elsewhere and busies himself with some books. Before they know it, the 14 days are up. He has mixed feelings. He is going to miss the laughter of little children, the daily Sarah-pancakes for breakfast and of course, the company of Veronica. Unless he does something about it.